What’s my age again?

September 28, 2012

This is going to sound more like a personal rant than anything I’ve written before. But I can guarantee perhaps a few nuggets of wisdom by the time you’ve finished reading.

Alright, so you’re in college. It’s time to find yourself (whatever that’s supposed to mean). You do the going to class thing, you do the parents’ weekend thing, you do the football games in the student section thing, you do the Greek life thing, you do the party scene thing, you do the drinking thing, you do the drunken pictures on Facebook thing.

Do it. I didn’t do it and I don’t regret it because it’s not me. Try as I might, I’m destined to be a bookish nerd, and that’s what makes me happy. Hell, it’s part of what makes me who I am. But not everyone’s like that and college, even more than teaching you how to write a resume, teaches you about yourself. So do it. I’m not even telling you that you have to be smart about. Be stupid about it. Don’t get in a car or get yourself or anyone else killed. Those sorts of actions are beyond stupid–they’re reckless and dangerous and there’s no good excuse for them. But be the drunk person that confesses all of his deep-seated feelings, if you want. Be the person that dances like Carlton Banks when you’re drunk. Be the person that swears up and down she can jump from that couch to that couch and stay on her feet. Be THAT person. I imagine it’ll teach you plenty about yourself and the friends around you. So do it.

But please, for the love of all that is good in this world, get it out of your system now. Because nobody likes you when you’re 23 and you still act like you’re in freshman year.

I’m not saying you can’t go out (or stay in) and have some drinks and a good time after college. You should! That’s what all of these regrettable nights were training you for…so that you don’t go out with some friends from your new job and ask for Everclear.

The only reason that Old School’s funny is because it was out of those guys’ nature. They grew up and then revisited it. If they’d been keg-standing all along, there’d be no movie.

So this is the voice of your future conscience. Live it up and get it out of your system.

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