What’s my age again?

September 28, 2012

This is going to sound more like a personal rant than anything I’ve written before. But I can guarantee perhaps a few nuggets of wisdom by the time you’ve finished reading.

Alright, so you’re in college. It’s time to find yourself (whatever that’s supposed to mean). You do the going to class thing, you do the parents’ weekend thing, you do the football games in the student section thing, you do the Greek life thing, you do the party scene thing, you do the drinking thing, you do the drunken pictures on Facebook thing.

Do it. I didn’t do it and I don’t regret it because it’s not me. Try as I might, I’m destined to be a bookish nerd, and that’s what makes me happy. Hell, it’s part of what makes me who I am. But not everyone’s like that and college, even more than teaching you how to write a resume, teaches you about yourself. So do it. I’m not even telling you that you have to be smart about. Be stupid about it. Don’t get in a car or get yourself or anyone else killed. Those sorts of actions are beyond stupid–they’re reckless and dangerous and there’s no good excuse for them. But be the drunk person that confesses all of his deep-seated feelings, if you want. Be the person that dances like Carlton Banks when you’re drunk. Be the person that swears up and down she can jump from that couch to that couch and stay on her feet. Be THAT person. I imagine it’ll teach you plenty about yourself and the friends around you. So do it.

But please, for the love of all that is good in this world, get it out of your system now. Because nobody likes you when you’re 23 and you still act like you’re in freshman year.

I’m not saying you can’t go out (or stay in) and have some drinks and a good time after college. You should! That’s what all of these regrettable nights were training you for…so that you don’t go out with some friends from your new job and ask for Everclear.

The only reason that Old School’s funny is because it was out of those guys’ nature. They grew up and then revisited it. If they’d been keg-standing all along, there’d be no movie.

So this is the voice of your future conscience. Live it up and get it out of your system.


I really struggled to think of something to write about this morning. I kept trying to put myself in the shoes of the majority of the student body in an attempt to relate to everyone – to write about an issue or dilemma that most people might be facing right now.

But I found it just wasn’t possible. I thought back to when I was a freshman and a sophomore and my greatest concerns were getting a reading assignment done or making sure that I’d made dinner plans with someone later in the day so that I wouldn’t have to eat alone. Now, that I’m staring graduation in the face, my biggest concerns are meeting with my thesis advisor and figuring out whether it makes more sense to go for my master’s degree or just commit to get a doctorate.

A doctorate. Isn’t there some age minimum on that? Are you sure I’m allowed?

It’s a rare day when I can get 3 solid, well-rounded meals taken care of. When did I get far along enough to consider being a “Dr.” of anything? The exciting talk of the day with my circle of friends is no longer the party that was busted up last night in the building next door. Instead, I’m asking them how the graduate program is treating them and whether or not they’re going to take that assistantship they were considering. I’m more excited about getting up early on a Saturday morning to get some writing done at Barnes & Noble than I am about the get-together I was invited to Friday night. Something about it all just doesn’t seem logical because I don’t remember the change ever taking place…

But all that happened was the passing of time. I took classes, of course, and I did work and wrote papers and actively achieved things, but it was all under the influence of time. What’s so weird is that it happened seamlessly.

I know it’s only the end of week two, and things are still new and fresh. But if you pay close attention, you might already see time whizzing right by you. There’s something kind of nice about it though. It makes me feel like you don’t have to do anything extraordinary to survive and progress in life. You just have to take it one day, one assignment, one meal at a time. It might not always be going in a straight, direct line, but it’ll get you there.

Because as The Doctor tells us, “people assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint – it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly… time-y wimey… stuff.”